On the 1! So not J. LO

high st brooklyn bridge signage mounted on blue steel post
Photo by Fancycrave.com on Pexels.com

Jennifer Lopez titled her album On the 6. She would ride the 6 train from the Bronx into the city (if not from NYC, the city is what everyone calls Manhattan). Well, I live in the city and the train that I use to ride to go everywhere was the 1 train.

At fourteen, I rode it uptown to Washington Heights to see my friends. At sixteen, I rode to 137 street to see my boyfriend. In winter, my boyfriend and I would ride the length of it from South Ferry to Van Cortlandt Park. We would ride for hours, talking and sharing secrets and deepest thoughts while I did homework or most times not.

That was all the past. When I was a different person, one I remember with both laughter, fondness, groans, and embarrassment.

Now, the person I am is a person who cannot even walk past the entrance of a train station without having a panic attack. I cannot ride the trains. I freak out. I’ve come close to blacking out. Hell, I cannot even think or talk about the trains with anxiety.

The logical side of me knows that my irrational fear is stupid. That I have nothing to fear. That I had done it hundreds, thousands of times.

My emotional side laughs in my face and I panic. My life is very different. My anxiety changed how I live my life. I do not meet up with long distant friends or attend my Romance Writers of America local chapter. I don’t take part in functions that I would have been the first to show up.

I am a person that now has to figure that I go somewhere I have to see if I have a ride back or money for a taxi. My life exists just where my feet can take me. I have sought help for it, taking prescribed medication and do therapy.

One day, maybe, I might be on the 1.

Or most likely not.

 

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Henry VIII and His Wives Part 2

Henry VIII and his wives. Do you remember the saying? Divorce, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded, Survived.

Well,  we are at the Died and Divorced.

Hans_Holbein_the_Younger_-_Jane_Seymour,_Queen_of_England_-_Google_Art_Project        Jane Seymour

Henry VIII’s third wife who he married days after Anne lost hers. Most Tudor experts and historians say that Jane was Henry’s most beloved wife. He is buried with her and Henry, himself, supposedly said so in his life.

However, Henry only loved Jane (in my opinion) because she birthed him a son, Edward. That was all Henry desired and had been denied him. If Jane had survived, Henry would have remained married to her until her death. Can’t risk Edward being a bastard but I certainly do not believe that he loved her as he professed.

Jane though is one of the wives that intrigues me. So much about her is lost. What is thought to be know, to me, is a shallow description. Much like Anne, Jane knew how to play Henry and with son, she could have had great influence over Henry and England. Jane took much with her to her grave.

Anne of Cleeves

Anne of Cleeves

A political marriage that ended in divorce and Cromwell losing his head. Henry certainly did not like Anne. She gave him the divorce he wanted and she came out the winner.

She was an independent woman, with lands who was welcome at court and called the king’s sister. She lived a long life. I think Henry treated Anne the best.

Why Women Have Too Many Shoes?

Men out there might be interested to read this blog post.  They have wondered why women have hundreds of shoes to go with their two feet.  The question has perplexed them and those pesky things have shoved their belongings from the closet.

The answer is quite simple.  It’s heredity.  Many centuries ago when humans were cave dwellers and man hunted, women gathered.  We ladies got together with our baskets [ancient purses] tucked in the crook of our arms and when off to gather.  While we strolled about the fields [ancient stores], we filled the basket with fruits and vegetables.  We didn’t return with one apple or an ear of corn.

Nay, our arms were loaded down with succulent food whereas nowadays shopping bags fill that primal urge.  So men don’t complain about our countless pairs of shoes, in the past we wouldn’t have returned to the cave with one fruit.  Our natural instincts are rearing up to be answered the same way Xbox answers yours.