On the 1! So not J. LO

high st brooklyn bridge signage mounted on blue steel post
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Jennifer Lopez titled her album On the 6. She would ride the 6 train from the Bronx into the city (if not from NYC, the city is what everyone calls Manhattan). Well, I live in the city and the train that I use to ride to go everywhere was the 1 train.

At fourteen, I rode it uptown to Washington Heights to see my friends. At sixteen, I rode to 137 street to see my boyfriend. In winter, my boyfriend and I would ride the length of it from South Ferry to Van Cortlandt Park. We would ride for hours, talking and sharing secrets and deepest thoughts while I did homework or most times not.

That was all the past. When I was a different person, one I remember with both laughter, fondness, groans, and embarrassment.

Now, the person I am is a person who cannot even walk past the entrance of a train station without having a panic attack. I cannot ride the trains. I freak out. I’ve come close to blacking out. Hell, I cannot even think or talk about the trains with anxiety.

The logical side of me knows that my irrational fear is stupid. That I have nothing to fear. That I had done it hundreds, thousands of times.

My emotional side laughs in my face and I panic. My life is very different. My anxiety changed how I live my life. I do not meet up with long distant friends or attend my Romance Writers of America local chapter. I don’t take part in functions that I would have been the first to show up.

I am a person that now has to figure that I go somewhere I have to see if I have a ride back or money for a taxi. My life exists just where my feet can take me. I have sought help for it, taking prescribed medication and do therapy.

One day, maybe, I might be on the 1.

Or most likely not.

 

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November Romance Releases

November is upon us. Thanksgiving and preparing for Christmas is nearing as we draw out sweaters and mittens and boots. During the holiday season, we all need a moment to ourselves—an escape. And what better way than with a romance novel. Here are two that are heading your way.

BETWEEN YOU AND ME

Book blurb:

As the only daughter of the wealthy Harrison clan, Tess Harrison has everything—except the baby she longs for. With no husband in sight, she escapes to her family’s retreat in Aspen, Colorado, visions of sperm donors dancing in her head. Instead, she finds Logan Carter. When the ruggedly handsome manager of the Harrison ski house offers to be her baby daddy in exchange for her playing his girlfriend, Tess is breathless to begin the charade. After all, the brokenhearted heiress knows better than to fall in love . . .

She would be Logan’s dream girl, if his dark past had left him with any dreams. Now the brooding bachelor’s only hope is to satisfy his mother’s dying wish to see him happily paired off—and give lovely Tess the baby she longs for.  But when he and Tess opt to make a baby the old-fashioned way, he’s fighting hard against the longing to hold on to the elusive Harrison beauty forever . . .

Available on November 28, 2017

Amazon link: Between You and Me by Jennifer Gracen

 

SECRET DESIRES

Margo Simmons is ecstatic when she inherits her uncle’s Manhattan apartment and a handsome sum of money. To her chagrin, there are strings attached. She must be gainfully employed in a job for a year. Everything in Margo’s life has complications. When she meets the man of her dreams, she anguishes over how to fulfill her secret desires for a loving relationship because he is still emotionally tied to his deceased wife and afraid to open his heart again. To replace her fractured childhood growing up with a distant stepfather, Margo becomes the guardian of an elementary student who longs for connection and closeness. As the story evolves, readers will see how these individuals unite. Secret Desires is written from the heart and speaks to anyone who has suffered a loss and had to start over.

SECRET DESIRES was released in February and is available now.